In the Urdu language, there is a beautiful phrase often used during tough times: “Her cheez mein Allah ki behtri hoti hai,” which means, “There is goodness of God in everything.”

“Her cheez mein Allah ki behtri hoti hai, toh (If there is goodness in everything, then) why did my father die? I was very young when it happened—what good did it bring?”

About five years ago, I was volunteering with the TCF Foundation back home when one of the volunteers asked this question.

She had lost her father as a child and couldn’t see any reason for it. People tried to explain to her how he might have lived through suffering, endured a painful illness, or faced difficult situations that could have been worse for their family.

To be honest, we were all playing with words. Many explanations were given, but none convinced me. For example, if her father was destined to die from cancer, God could have healed him. If he were to be imprisoned, God could have freed him.

I am a woman of faith. I manage to keep my five daily prayers and firmly believe in God. However, there are things that I struggle to understand. I’ve experienced the loss of an unborn child at five months. Every child is unique, and this one was a boy I was supposed to have after two daughters. He didn’t survive.

They say losing a loved one or going through a divorce are experiences only those who endure them can truly comprehend. May God never let a parent experience the trauma of losing a child. My husband comforted me with these profound words: “Don’t cry, because what happened to us is what happened to the Prophet (PBUH). His daughters lived, and his sons passed away.” I deeply respect him for saying that.

It has been six years since that loss, and I have since been blessed with a third daughter. Yet, I often wonder why it happened. Was it something I did? Was it a punishment? And then I recall that age-old saying: “Her cheez mein Allah ki behtri hai (Goodness of God is in everything).”

My cousin lost his son at six months; another woman I know lost her son at 26 years. What was the “behtri” (goodness) in those tragedies? Could they have grown up to be criminals? God is capable of giving guidance. Could they have suffered from illnesses? God is capable of granting health. So then, why? One of my friends lost her mother at the age of 9.

As a practicing Muslim, I’ve wrestled with these questions but never voiced them, fearing judgment. Ironically, we often care more about people’s opinions than our connection with God, even though, in our hearts, we know God understands. I’ve always believed the solution is to ask Him directly.

After six years of reflection, I finally found an answer: there is no “behtri” (goodness) in every situation. Sometimes, the phrase is a false comfort, an attempt to offer hope. It misses a crucial point: God does not need a reason to do anything. He does not owe us an explanation. Islam means submission to the will of God—period.

The Quran teaches us that any harm we endure is a consequence of our own actions. Challenges may serve as punishment, but they are also tests to see if we will submit to His will. Such trials are opportunities to draw closer to either Heaven or Hell.

If we respond with gratitude, acknowledging that everything belongs to Him and that we all ultimately return to Him, we embody patience, and God is with the patient. Complaining, on the other hand, risks leading us away from Him. The real question isn’t why a child or a father died—it is whether the living are willing to accept God’s will.

I came across a similar perspective in a video about a Christian father with a special needs child. Initially, he struggled to understand why his child was born that way. One day, while passing by a group of kids playing baseball, his son expressed a desire to join. The kids graciously included him. When he hit the ball the kids kept running around, letting him score a home run. That moment of empathy and humanity was profound. His father said that his son’s suffering created an opportunity for others to exhibit kindness and compassion. It was a test for the father to accept God’s will—another step closer to Heaven.

The lesson I found aligns with a scene from the series “Yousuf” on YouTube. In it, Angel Gabriel tells Prophet Jacob (PBUH) that he must accept the loss of Joseph (PBUH) as part of God’s will.

Indeed, “Her cheez mein Allah ki behtri hai” (Goodness of God is in everything), but I am not trying to offer false hope. This is simply my way of explaining myself one of the questions of life. It has given me closure. It’s okay that God took the child I yearned for—he was never mine to begin with. Everything belongs to Him, and to Him, we shall all return.

I hope this reflection helps someone else find peace, just as it has helped me.